Rough Day

Psalm 139:1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me. 2 You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. 3 You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. 4 For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. 5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. 7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," Even the night shall be light about me; 12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. 19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.20 For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain.21 Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?22 I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies.23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties;24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.

This is my prayer tonight as I write heavy hearted, after I've watched my dear wife on the heels of such a hard 2 months, she's had a rough day today. The pains of post surgery muscle spasms that radiate from her rib cage around to her back have become yet even more intense and it is wearing on her already frail body. She wishes and wants that each day be her day of discharge, but i must say that today was a slightly different story. She had a total of 4 major bouts of pain today, which doctors continue to say are normal, but the classification of normal doesn't lessen the pain. Tonight, as we were visiting with Lacey's mother and Elyse, Lacey hastily got up from bed and squatted to the floor in tears, just trying to find a comfortable position, she cried and moaned and rushed into the restroom where she began to vomit. So painful and distressing for a already marred abdomen to endure such pressure. We assisted her back to bed and the wonderful nurses provided her with some meds for nausea and she was more comfortable within minutes. However, this knocked her down emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually as we all recognize the difficulty it is to continue to hold fast to our Lord when things seem so negative. Please pray that Lacey can continue, by God's intervening hand, to trust in Him. Pray that God will continue to strengthen her and hold her up as she desires so much to be with her dear baby girl. Pray also that i may continue to share truths from God's word with her that she may be upheld by His spirit and preserved by his promises. She is resting now and seems to be more comfortable but we can only beg our Creator to glorify Himself through us, and we beg Him that it may be pleasing in His sight to begin to remove some pain and distress from my beautiful bride, of whom I love dearly.

I find rest in the Psalm of David quoted above because I know that God knows us, He knows are sitting and our rising, He knows our hearts and minds, and He hems us in on all sides with a hedge of protection. We cannot and will not ever be or flee from his presence. His hand leads and holds us up. The darkness we face as the sun sinks low this evening and Lacey continues to suffer is no darkness at all to our God. He neither slumbers nor sleeps, and in Him there is no shadow of turning. He formed even Lacey's inner most parts and knew them in her mother's womb, and His eyes saw and knew even our unformed substance. God isn't affected by fatigue, soreness, nausea or emotional despair, God is a God of consistency, sovereignty and love. His way for us is our way toward good. Lacey, in the midst of her vomitting today said, "at least my pancreas isn't hurting, I can deal with this," my heart wept but she demonstrated a trust in God's providences and demonstrated her sight that even in this, He is working for our good. He is using her sufferring, 1200 miles from home, and many nights away from a beloved 10 month old daughter, to affect and change the lives of many people. How could we complain? To God be the Glory! Thank you for calls, texts, prayers, cards, flowers, baby supplies and simple comments on this blog. Each of these is so encouraging to us, me especially, as i continue to minister to Lacey. Please continue to pray for her and for her complete healing.